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Tuesday, December 29, 2020

 What is the difference between Social Anxiety and Shyness?

Since the discovery of Social anxiety in 1980, unfortunately, it is often dismissed as just extreme shyness. There has been a lot of confusion as to differentiate between social anxiety and shyness. Some people question the premise that social anxiety is the same construct as shyness.

If you are also confused in differentiating both conditions then this article is for you. Here, I will discuss the differences between social anxiety and shyness and how can anyone figure out whether someone is suffering from a social anxiety disorder or it’s just a personal trait. Let’s figure it out!

What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder is also known as ‘Social Phobia’ that causes extreme distress which leads to avoiding social situations. People having social anxiety hesitate while talking to people and attending social gatherings. They have a fear of being judged and scrutinized by others. However, social anxiety is different from shyness. Both can’t be mixed with each other.

Social anxiety is persistent and debilitating. It can affect someone’s life in different ways.

Situations that are usually feared by people having social anxiety are:

Attending a social party or gathering

Talking in front of others

Talking to strangers

Asking a question

Job interviews


Waiting in a cue

Talking on phone

What is Shyness?

Shyness is a personal trait, not a disorder. Shy people feel uncomfortable when they walk into a room full of unknown people and they might be not interested in talking about their lives and expressing their feelings to others. One of the advantages shy people have over the person with social anxiety is that their discomfort in all these situations is short-lived. However, shyness is manageable.

On the other hand, social anxiety causes a high level of distress that leads to several social situations.

Research published in the Journal of Current Psychiatry shows the difference between social anxiety and shyness and sums up the findings as:

Social anxiety and Shyness are not the same but two different things.

Shyness is a personality trait.

Many shy people do not face any negative emotions and feelings that are common symptoms of social anxiety.

Lastly, people with social anxiety are usually shy as well while shyness is not a pre-requisite for social anxiety disorder.

All people with social anxiety are not shy

It is not true that all people with social anxiety are also shy. I personally know many people having social anxieties and they hold them back from doing what they wanted to do in their lives. But when they overcome social anxiety, they enjoy being the center of attention and talking to strangers.

Social anxiety and shyness have similarities but there are distinct differences between both situations. Shyness is a personal characteristic with a combination of anxiety and inhibition in interpersonal situations. It is a normal trait of personality combined with inhibited behavior. Whereas, on the other hand, social anxiety is a significant amount of fear that causes a high level of distress and the affected person avoids every type of engagement with the people. This causes avoidance even those activities in which people want to engage.

Only about one-half of the people with social anxiety are shy, according to research. And less than 25% of people are shy without having fear of anxiety or high distress level.

People having social anxiety experience fear, stress, feeling of embarrassment, and humiliation every day.

Saturday, December 5, 2020


5 Scariest Mental Disorders of All Time

Imagine suffering from a mental illness that causes you to believe your significant other is an imposter set on harming you, or which convinces you that books are for eating, or worse yet, that you have somehow become the walking dead. Scary, right?

While only a small percentage of people are forced to live with the disorders described above, the fact remains that 450 million people worldwide suffer from mental illness. In the United States alone, one in four families is affected. While some mental disorders, such as depression, can occur naturally, others are the result of brain trauma or other injuries. Although it is fair to say that any mental illness can be scary for those suffering, there are a few rare disorders that are especially terrifying. Below, we’ve described what we think you’ll agree are the 5 scariest mental disorders of all time.

1. Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

Alice in Wonderland may be pure fantasy, but one of Alice’s more bizarre experiences shares its characteristics with a scary mental disorder. Known also as Todd Syndrome, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome causes one’s surroundings to appear distorted. Just as Alice grows too tall for the house, those suffering from Alice in Wonderland Syndrome will hear sounds either quieter or louder than they actually are, see objects larger or smaller than reality, and even lose sense of accurate velocity or textures. This terrifying disorder, which has been described as an LSD trip without the euphoria, even perverts one’s own body image. Fortunately, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome is extremely rare, and in most cases affects those in their 20s who have a brain tumor or history of drug use.

2. Alien Hand Syndrome

Though it’s often been used in terrifying plot twists, Alien Hand Syndrome is hardly limited to the fictional world. Those with this scary, but fortunately rare, mental disorder experience a complete loss of control of a hand or limb. The uncontrollable limb often seems to take on a mind and will of its own, and sufferers have reported their “alien” limb attempting to choke either themselves or others, ripping clothing, or scratching to the point of blood. Alien Hand Syndrome most often appears in patients with Alzheimer’s Disease or Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, or as a result of brain surgery during which the brain’s two hemispheres have been separated. Unfortunately, no cure exists for Alien Hand Syndrome, and those affected by it are often left to keep their hands constantly occupied or use their other hand to control the alien hand.

3. Apotemnophilia

Known also as Body Integrity Disorder and Amputee Identity Disorder, Apotemnophilia is a neurological disorder characterized by the overwhelming desire to amputate or damage healthy parts of the body. Though not much is known about this strangely terrifying disorder, is is believed to be associated with damage to the right parietal lobe of the brain. Because the vast majority of surgeons will not amputate healthy limbs upon request, some sufferers of Apotemnophilia feel forced to amputate on their own — a dangerous scenario. Of those who have had a limb removed by a doctor, most are reportedly happy with their decision even after the fact.

4. Boanthropy

Those who suffer from the very rare — but very scary — mental disorder Boanthropy believe they are cows, often going as far as to behave as such. Sometimes those with Boanthropy are even found in fields with cows, walking on all fours and chewing grass as if they were a true member of the herd. Those with Boanthropy do not seem to realize what they’re doing when they act like a cow, leading researchers to believe that this odd mental disorder is brought on by dreams or even hypnotism. Interestingly, it is believed that Boanthropy is even referred to in the Bible, as King Nebuchadnezzar is described as being “driven from men and did eat grass as oxen.”

5. Capgras Delusion

Capras Delusion, named after Joseph Capgras, a French psychiatrist who was fascinated by the illusion of doubles, is a debilitating mental disorder in which one believes that the people around them have been replaced by imposters. Furthermore, these imposters are usually thought to be planning to harm the sufferer. In one case, a 74-year old woman with Capgras Delusion began to believe that her husband had been replaced with an identical-looking imposter who was out to hurt her. Capgras Delusion is relatively rare, and is most often seen after trauma to the brain, or in those who have been diagnosed with dementia, schizophrenia, or epilepsy.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Being Homeless during Covid - 19

 Being homeless is already hard but it'seven harder to be homeless during this pandemic which is very unfortunate and probably difficult to deal with. Now, what are some good ways you can survive, live, and stride in today's world's current conditions?

1. Having A Plan

Having a plan is the simplest but important step in improving your life and making the best of your situation so what are some good and easy ways of making  

One of the main concerns of being homeless is where to sleep or rest, too. There are shelters for the homeless or abandoned buildings you can temporarily stay in, though.

You need to check the structure of the building as it may already be weak since it’s abandoned. Find a spot closer to the exit or beneath a support beam so it’s safer.

In case you don’t find shelter and you’re forced to sleep on the streets, try finding a spot where there are other homeless people. This area is probably where the police won’t bother them, and there’s also safety in numbers.

It’s also possible they’ll intimidate you, so you need to prepare for that. If you want to have a more intimate spot though, try looking for bushy areas.

So then there is finding the right clothing to wear It’s hard to survive as a homeless person if you don’t wear the right kind of clothes. So wear enough to cover your body and keep you warm but not hot.

You can wear long sleeves and layers of thin clothes. A pair of zip-off cargo pants are also a good choice since you can easily switch from pants to shorts. The pockets could also give you extra storage for your essentials.

Staying warm, when winter comes up, store thick winter coats, wool beanies, and lots of socks in your survival gear. Besides practical clothes, you need other items to keep you warm in your survival gear.

You can also get your hands on a thermal blanket if you can. But if there are not enough to maintain body heat, boil water and place it inside water bottles.

Then, surround yourself with these hot water bottles before covering yourself with blankets. They can keep you warm and protect your hands from frostbite, indeed.

Being neat try to keep yourself neat, even if the chance of taking a shower does not come by often. So, make it a point to store wet wipes in your survival gear.

Go to public toilets where you have access to running water and clean yourself properly. By keeping a clean look, you can improve your self-confidence and have a more positive outlook on life.

Making yourself presentable will help you gain friends and handouts easier, too. That’s because people are most likely to respond positively to someone who looks clean. Having a clean look also makes it easier for you to blend in and not be shooed away by security guards.

Never leave your things unattended because others may be worse off than you. Always have them beside you and don’t get too comfortable, even if the place looks safe.

You can’t afford getting robbed when you’re homeless since you have limited resources, so have your things packed and always prepared to leave when you need to. Cops and other homeless groups might kick you out.

This is among the basic survival skills you need to learn while you’re out in the streets. That is to avoid conflict at all costs.

Unless you’re physically attacked and need to defend yourself, fighting simply isn’t worth it. You may end up with scratches, bruises, or even broken bones, and this is a bad thing if you don’t have access to a clinic or hospital.

Worse, a cop may pick you up so what happens then? That’s why you need to stay calm and always walk away from trouble before they even begin.

Always keep a first-aid kit in your survival gear because in your situation anything can happen. What’s even worse is you don’t have easy access to medical facilities so you have to rely on your own.

You can recycle some of your things to apply first aid, but you really need to have medicines with you. Pain relievers, antiseptic solution, and antibacterial ointments are some of the items you need.

2. Staying Healthy 

Use fruits and veggies to replace higher calorie foods and help to maintain a healthy weight. If possible, include a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables every day. Try to select fresh produce when in season or choose fruits and vegetables along with canned options with reduced salt and no sugar.

Staying clean is the hardest part of being homeless, but to stay or get employed you have to be clean, smell clean, look clean.

Find a place to shower. Planet Fitness has $10 a month memberships. If there's one in your town, join. You can maintain your health and hygiene there. If you can't afford or find a gym, find a community center, or a YMCA. The Y offers low to free memberships for the homeless.

If there is no Y, or gym, or community center (you're rural), find a McDonalds or Burger King. They have the best bathrooms because most of their stalls have doors. You can take a collapsible bucket in, fill it with water and take a sponge bath in the privacy of the stall, then brush your teeth etc. at the sink.

If you're in a rural area there are almost always streams and rivers to bathe in. I bathed in a waterfall for two months when I worked as a raft guide in college. The well at the dorm was always running dry, and it was the only option most days.

Laundromats are a must have. Try to look for apartment complexs with laundry facilities rather than public laundromats. The cost is almost always $1 to $3 a load cheaper. If you are college age, dorm laundry facilities are the best, but security on campuses, plus parking hassles, can be a deterent.

If you go into a laundromat with ONE load of clothes and explain your situation I'm betting 90% of people will pay for your wash/dry for you. I certainly would.

If you're in a big city, you're in luck. Many high rise office buildings have bathrooms on the upper floors with showers. I found two in Denver and used those during the day to take a QUICK, and I emphasize QUICK, shower because employees use them in the am. and at lunch to shower after running or working out and they will know if you belong in the building or not. If you're going to use a shower in a public building wear workout gear - sweat pants and t-shirt etc., so you at least LOOK like you work there and belong.

Some major airports have showers. In Europe I noticed there were as many showers in the airports as bathroom stalls. They were generally free, but you had to provide your own towel.

Carry a superabsorbent (and small) bathtowel, washcloth and soap with you in your pack so if you ever do happen upon a shower you can take advantage of it. Never pass up the opportunity to take a shower, even if you had one a few hours prior. Use deodorant liberally, but don't substitute it for a shower unless you have to. Wash your pits, crotch and face every day (not in that order tho).

If you can't find a laundromat, but have a job interview and no clean clothes, hit Goodwill or the Salvation Army. You can throw together a good outfit for less than $10 if you shop right. Another point, always keep at least one outfit clean for job interviews. This is easier if you have a small storage unit or car to store extra stuff in. If all else fails, get a locker at a gym, or airport or someplace to keep your stuff. Ask a friend if you can keep a footlocker in their garage or on their property where you can keep some things. Consider buying a small rubber tool tote you can padlock to a tree in the woods and camoflauge if you have nothing else. Get creative.

Maintaining health is a matter of eating healthy - also hard to do when you're homeless. Dumpster diving can actually provide you with good food if you know when to scavenge. Most food in grocery store dumpsters is in its original package, even still frozen. Just pull it out and heat and eat. Many farmer's markets and stores will give you, or sell at a greatly reduced price, their leftover veggies - especially if you tell them your situation and offer to help them load/pack up at the end of the day.

The only thing standing between you, your health, hygiene, and well-being is your creativity and yourself. Ask, be matter-of-fact, truthful, and honest about what you need, and offer something in exchange for what you want and you will always find a way to get what you need.

3, Staying Positive 

I know this would be easier said than done definitely when homeless How to stay positive in these situations? Here's how I handle it. 

1. Keep busy. Being alone with your thoughts is the killer. Don't brood, is what I mean. 

2. Focus on the immediate problems at hand, not the big picture. Take it five minutes, 20 minutes at a time. 

3. When you get a small task accomplished feel good about it. Focus on what you have accomplished, not how far you need to go. 

4. Take time to breathe. Panic is the worst of all. Panic never solved a problem.

Bonus Tip!

Find yourself a stray pet dog that will serve as both your friend and companion. Even though you’ll have another mouth to feed, you’ll find they’re worth it.

Your pet dog can even be your bodyguard, protecting you from thieves and harassers, too. In fact, dogs are loyal animals that will stick with you through thick and thin — just as you need.

Help The Homeless

Please if you need any help you can reach out to me or anyone in that case please stay safe!

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

 Why being the nice guy isn't worth it

For all the male viewers Most guys can't figure out why women aren't attracted to nice guys. In fact, most men have, at one point or another, uttered the phrase, "Nice guys finish last" as a way to explain their dating problems, single statuses, and more.

The concept of women not finding nice guys attractive is insanely common as a belief. In fact, it's become enmeshed in our culture. It's a movie trope, a rom-com classic, and some guys actually will go out of their way to say they are nice guys because of it.

What most men don't understand is that women do find nice guys attractive, but they don't find Nice Guys attractive in the least bit. Though they may think they see the difference, the truth is that the vast majority of single guys I've met don't.

Or rather, they can't. Here's why women aren't attracted to Nice Guys, but why they do tend to fawn over guys who are nice.

What is a Nice Guy?

In order to understand why women aren't attracted to Nice Guys, you need to know what a Nice Guy is.

A Nice Guy is a man who is nice for the sake of getting a girl's number. He prides himself on being a gentleman—sort of. Rather, he's not really a gentleman. He believes that being polite or going out of his way means that he will get a girlfriend or sex.

He's a doormat of sorts, primarily because he's worried that anything he says even remotely sideways could upset girls and make them walk away. He doesn't really show his real personality. He is often insecure and has very unrealistic ideas about how courtship really works.

In other words, a Nice Guy is a person who tends to view women as dating sims. To a Nice Guy, a woman's interest or attraction to him doesn't really factor into the equation. Moreover, they tend to believe that love should involve a "fair chance," even though they themselves wouldn't give an unattractive girl a chance.

Nice Guys often believe that manners or employment alone entitles them to a date. They often lack social skills. Simply put, they are guys who were raised on badly written, cliche rom-coms and believe that they are how dating should work.

Now, you might already notice a lot of reasons why women wouldn't want to date a Nice Guy. However, it's really important to dish out every aspect of it in detail so that you get a full understanding about why Nice Guys aren't dateable in most women's eyes.

Saturday, August 29, 2020


 The resources on this page emphasize several evidence-based self-care and coping strategies to reduce the stress associated with the COVID-19 pandemic. It is recommended to:

  • stay virtually connected to loved ones through video chats, calls, texts, social media, apps, and email
  • stay physically active with daily movement and exercise
  • maintain regular sleep patterns and stick with routines to provide structure to your days
  • eat healthy, stay hydrated, and avoid excessive consumption of sugar and alcohol
  • limit exposure to distressing media
  • stay informed with credible sources of information and avoid the spread of misinformation
  • practice stress management techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and controlled breathing
  • try to let go of anxious thoughts about what you cannot control and instead try shifting your attention to the things that are within your control

  • seek professional support as needed if you or a loved one are experiencing significant stress or impairing anxiety


 FACE COVID  Ebook by Russ Harris
Afrontar el COVID (en español)

Based on Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, this 12 page Ebook presents a practical approach to safety and emotional wellbeing in the time of COVID:

  • F = focusing on what’s in your control
    A = acknowledging thoughts & feelings
    C = coming back into your body
    E = engaging in what you’re doing
  • C = committed action
    O = opening up
    V = values
    I = identifying resources
    D = disinfecting & distancing

 NAMI: COVID-19 Resource & Information Guide (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Information guide which addresses common concerns for those with mental health conditions & their loved ones, those who are quarantined and feeling isolated, those with loved ones who are elderly or at higher risk, those with a loved one who is incarcerated, those without medical insurance, those experiencing financial hardship, those who may be homeless, etc. NAMI’s guide provides helpful tips for coping and can help connect others to additional information about support services, assistance programs, housing, and mental wellbeing.

★ PTSD Coach Online (National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Anyone who is experiencing stress or anxiety can benefit from the tools and strategies found here. This site offers supportive tools for dealing with the following common emotional experiences: worry & anxiety, anger, sadness or hopelessness, sleep problems, trauma reminders, avoidance of stressful situations, disconnection from people, disconnection from reality, difficulty solving problems, uncertainty about direction in life.

 COVID-19 and OCD (International OCD Foundation)

Toolkit for those struggling with symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and their loved ones. Information and strategies for coping with the additional stress resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic, including resources for kids, teens, families, and therapists. Includes self care tools, teletherapy options, weekly discussions, and informacion en Español.

★ Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook (Jamma International)

Comprehensive workbook for managing anxiety in the context of coronavirus. This workbook utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to help the reader identify common physical & cognitive manifestations of anxiety, offering worksheets and practical tools for working with thoughts, seeking healthy distractions, building self-care routines, using gratitude practices and breathing exercises to calm the bodymind.